next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
