if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
