Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
