I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
