you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
