i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
