It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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