The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just forgot I was standing up.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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