My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
