I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I want to be your penis for a week.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize