Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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