Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
