think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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