Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
