I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
