1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
