When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
