Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
