Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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