So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
the raccoons are back...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
