i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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