I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He shit in the fireplace
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
