You're so nebulous sometimes
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
