we're blogging at a bar
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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