It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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