my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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