I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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