Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
