I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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