big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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