Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
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You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
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I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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