i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize