I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
