So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
