We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
