why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
