so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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