Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
