i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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