is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
