i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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