We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
