the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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