Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
