dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
