I look better un-naked...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
