If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
