I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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