I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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