i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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