i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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