I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
