my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
