I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I deserve this hangover.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
