the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
