Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
