i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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