You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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